1) Poison Ivy - Before we got goats, the barn had one side covered with the stuff. Guess who ate it all off in the course of a summer?

2) Thistle Plants - Everything but the main stalk. Makes for easy pulling.

3) Rhubarb - It had to be them. It completely disappeared.

4) Maple Leaves - They stretch way up to eat them off of the trees, as high up as they can go.

5) Willow Bark - There's an old willow tree in the barnyard that's now got to be dead because they ate all the bark off up as high as they could reach. Thought about cutting it down, but the chickens like to hang out under it.

5) Paper - Things I thought were secure and weren't - an old feed bag, pieces of a grocery bag, two different calendars I was using to track chicken goings-on. (This is where the myth that goats eat tin cans comes from - they're actually eating the paper labels).

6) Wood - There's an old wood pile in the barn yard, and they nibble on the older, splintery wood.

7) Duct Tape - But only chewed it up, just to get to the paper it was holding. I think. All I know is they they didn't feel well after this little incident.

8) Fresh Pine Needles and/or Branches - The tree my daughter and I planted when she was in grade school is their latest target.

9) A Week's Worth of Chicken Feed - Okay, a no-brainer. What was staggering was the amount. I have to admit, I took secret pleasure in the fact that they had belly aches for a couple of days after that.

10) Most of a Computer Box - I was storing it to use as a makeshift chick brooder. They stretched their necks under the manger, got their lips on it, pulled it closer... the rest is history.

11) Lemons - I must admit this was deliberate. We took half a squeezed lemon out of my fair lemonade last year and offered it to them. Lewis and Clover weren't interested, but Clark gobbled it down. He got a couple more during the course of the fair... and was the only one who didn't come back from the fair with a cold. Seriously.

It's easy to see why goats are called "desert makers."

They also like to mouth things. They found an old extension cord I thought was lost and chewed it worthless (luckily, it wasn't plugged in). They like to mouth the buttons and snaps on my winter work coat, and the work gloves I sometimes wear. They're goatskin gloves, so when they start to do it I say, "Yes, that's your cousin."

Update 4/19/05: Added Chicken Feed, Computer Box, and Lemons.

Something I forgot to mention yesterday:

Yes, Lucy is named after a redheaded actress - Lucille Ball. Given the hen's nature of going out first and getting into trouble, it was only appropriate. And she has a way of running that absolutely cracks me up.

I could also be wrong about Lucy being the one with the goat-nipped tail feathers. It looks like the hen with the missing claw on the middle toe of each foot might be the one with that honor.

Leg bands will help me sort this all out.

Well, peace has come over the barnyard (at least until the arrival of my daughter's new doe goat). I was even hit with a sense of pride after all the work I did on Saturday, remaking the coop into a chicken condo. Which means that, given my luck, a rabid badger or a wolverine will make its way down here to devastate things.

I've identified two of the Reds as having distinct personalities, although I'm still having trouble telling them all apart (except for the hen with no nails on either middle toe). Their previous owner banded their legs with a nylon wire tie to indicate they were laying - I may add a color to see if the behavior is consistent.

One of the Reds is more timid than the others. She doesn't show any signs of being pecked upon, although it would certainly be her lot to be at the bottom of the pecking order. She's always the last one out of the coop, and the first one to retreat back to the coop from outside when the goats start to gambol and frolic. In every sense of the word, she's a chicken.

The other is just the opposite. She's the first one out of the coop when I open up the doors in the morning. She's also the first one to jump up and perch on the goat gate when I close them up for the night, and doesn't seem to mind the obligatory petting I give them when they do that. And she's always wandering off on her own, and a couple of times I've found that she has somehow made her way into the tack room. She also knows she can get out through the openings in the goat fence and frequently ventures out of the barnyard. The other day, when Cleo the barn cat was sauntering through the yard, this hen took off toward her at a dead run, flapping her wings until Cleo ran to safety.

My wife thought I should name the four Reds after famous redheaded actresses, which I probably would if I could tell them apart more. Until then, I am using the name "Lucy" to describe the bold hen (and I'm hoping that all of these incidents are from the same one). A trip to Radio Shack for some colored wire ties may confirm this after a while.

I'm thinking, though, that for a few weeks I have a physical marker for Lucy now. The other day the Reds were lined up on the goat gate, waiting for me to close them up, and Clark the goat came up to look at them. The Hen Suspected Of Being Lucy had her back to the goat, and Clark took a mouthful of tail feathers and started to chew. Before I could stop him, he turned his head and pulled like he was trying to pull leaves off of a tree. THSOBL was pulled off, squawking, and an alarmed Clark let her go. So now her tail feathers look blunted, like they've had the tips cut off.

(In the meantime, I've noticed that when the Reds stay in the coop during the day, they sit on the perch I built inside and not on the goat gate. Now I know why.)

In chick news, they all seem to be enjoying their spacious new digs. The other day they were settling down to sleep when one of the Red Sex Links did the chicken equivalent of a cannonball into the middle of them, getting them all upset. They seem to be getting along with the Reds, although when one of them did a curious peck at the chicken wire, it raised shrieks of protest from the little ones.

There are a couple of personalities developing in the chicks, too. The Red Sex Links seem to be boisterous and competitive. The RIR I suspect will be a rooster (it has fewer, larger tines on its comb than the other RIR's - or any of the other pullets, for that matter) seems to do a lot of challenging. And one Wyandotte that my daughter dubbed "Jean-Bob" because she could tell her apart from the others (Jean-Bob's head was much darker than the others) is another one that does a lot of neck-stretching, feather-ruffling and other forms of assertiveness.

It's also gratifying to see them flock toward me when I come toward their area to feed them. I guess they've bestowed me with the High Chickenic title of Brings Food Man.

So now the big thing is waiting for the eggs. Come on, girls...

Well, the Ross Chicken experiment is over, at least this first one. A person I communicated with on the Backyard Chickens forum said that selective breeds like this weren't great to raise other than for the meat - but I think I knew that before I read it. Both Bob and Mildred were big and slow, they were too big to fly or even try and roost, and after a time they didn't seem healthy. They had lived far beyond their intended life span, which in this case is not necessarily a healthy thing for them. So the Rosses are now gone, and if I get any more, it will be to raise them for their intended purpose - butchering at or around 42 days.

I'm going to miss Bob's crowing - but he hadn't done it for a while, so I guess I was already missing it. But one of the RIR's I got from Tractor Supply looks like it might be a little roo, so just give it some time (as I mentioned, I decided to play the genetic lottery with the RIR's and get straight run in the hopes of bagging at least one roo). And the Rosses did get me started with this whole chicken raising thing, thanks to my daughter signing up to win a pair at the fair last year.

Today I spent a full work day on the coop. I cleaned out the winter's worth of deep litter accumulation, took out the old wire kennel that was Bob's quarters and cleaned that up. I finished putting up chicken wire over the inside of the coop to cover gaps in the walls (the coop is made from a stall in my father-in-law's old barn). Then I build a chick gate out of chicken wire and wood and a couple of hook-and-eye fasteners and cordoned off the back quarter of the coop for them and hung the heat lamp up. Transferred the chicks, who were excited to be in expansive new digs (they'd been living in a computer and a monitor box that I'd duct taped together and put chicken wire over). Carted the old quarters out to the burning pile and lit it, then vacuumed up in the house and did some dusting in the area - hopefully my wife will be happy about that.

At this writing I'm not sure how the Reds are going to take their new neighbors. When I took the chicks out, the Reds heard them peeping and one of them made a throaty growling sort of sound. They've spent most of the day out by the goat-stripped willow tree and picking through the pile of manure I shoveled out of their quarters (the goats seemed to enjoy the manure, too - weird). At one point they ended up in the coop and one of them ran over to check out the chicks. The chicks froze when they heard them, but then one of them broke from the group and went toward the wire to check out the Red.

I'll give them a week or two to get used to each other - and another couple of weeks for the chicks to get a little bigger, perhaps. Then maybe they'll be one big happy family and the Reds will start laying again - something other than soft shellers. I've been leaving oyster shell out for them, but I think most of the problem was stress generated by the tyrannical Mildred. Now that she's gone, there should be less stress for everyone involved.

This one was all my fault, so I'm not mad at the goats. Sometime in this morning's routine, I forgot to latch the goat gate into the coop and the twins of greed got in and trashed the place. I had taped pieces of a brown paper bag around the outside of the nest box to make it a little more private; they ate off all but one side, then ate the floor hay I had used for bedding. They ate about a week's worth of chicken feed right out of the hanging feeder. On the other hand, my daughter says they were quite well behaved when she came home from school. No wonder. I've said that sweet feed was like catnip to the goats and that the chicken feed was like heroin. So they were stoned.

Am I ready for another goat?

I also let Bob out for a couple of hours this evening, but made sure the ladies were all locked up first. Other housekeeping included putting down fresh straw in the coop and changing the litter for the chicks. Another week or so and the little ones will be going out to the coop to meet the ladies. Thinking about the road to Homeworth now.

Yesterday: Two more soft shelled eggs on the coop floor. Several days ago I put an old piece of masonite over Bob's cage because the Reds were perching on the top and their droppings were falling down on him. This solved that problem. The new twist is that I suspect the Reds are laying their eggs up there, and they roll off onto the floor.

Note to self: Must... get... golf... balls...

Also news from my daughter. She's found someone nearby county with Alpine goats for sale, so a yearling doe is in our future. Busy times for a hobby farmer ahead.

Sunday: While out tending the chooks before going to church, I noticed that Mildred was checking out the new nest box. While I was out there, she even went into it, stayed for a couple of minutes, and then came back out. I suspected an egg was in the works, but couldn't stay. When I came back from church that afternoon and opened the top, sure enough. A medium beige egg. Time will tell if she's getting back to business now.

This morning: in the small space between the barn door and the goat gate I found two soft shell eggs. One was just the skin of the shell. The other was intact. So now it looks as if at least two of the Reds are getting ready to start laying. Considering the other soft shell skins I've been finding, it could be all of them. However, checking with the person I got the Reds from, the two New Hampshires are two to three weeks (I can't recall and my notes calendar is hanging in the coop) older than the RIR.

Tonight I'm digging out my golf bag and getting a handful of golf balls. When Mildred started laying, I put a golf ball in the next box, then put her inside and hope she put two and two together. She did. Now I'll need to do the same with the Reds and hope that they take the hint.

I suspect they'll use the upper nest boxes because 1) they can fit into them, and 2), they are up where Mildred won't go.

Teaching chickens where to lay. Who would have thought...

Found the skin of another soft shelled egg in the coop this morning. I think one or more of the Reds are laying them in odd places, where they're getting trampled and eaten. I'm going to have to make the floor a safe place so they can get to the upper nest boxes (or even the one on the floor). Still pondering either a chicken tractor or what I am now calling The Homeworth Option.

(I don't think my wife wants me to have to butcher chickens, although I'm willing... she wants me to take them to Homeworth, where there's a place that does the deed for you and wraps them neatly in cellophane. Actually, I think it stems from her childhood on the farm where they ate a lot of chicken and they had to help pluck... she's still not a real fan of chicken, but doesn't mind the eggs. Kind of charming, I suppose. I guess I could take The Homeworth Option - processing is cheap, but the gas to and from would probablky negate any perceived savings of Raising Meat Chickens At Home. Something to think about, anyway.)

Been spending time watching chick and chicken behavior.

In the coop I've noticed the Reds have been hanging around on the top of the cage that Bob is in. My wife speculated that they might like the heat he's giving off, but after observation, I think I have another reason.

When they're up there, Mildred can't get to them.

Where I was once worried that she would be at the bottom of the pecking order because she was wounded, she has turned into this slow, waddling menace to the Reds inside the coop. So they stay up on the perches and the top of the isolation cage where the Rosses cannot follow.

They seem to be fine out in the barnyard, where there's lots of room for everyone to stay out of everyone else's way. But in the coop, Mildred rules the floor.

This came to me when I shut them up the other night. Three of the Reds flew right up to the goat gate, where I petted them. The fourth stayed right at the edge of the cage, hunching like she was going to jump to the gate, but doubtful she could make it. I wondered why she didn't just jump to the floor first, then I realized: she's afraid of Mildred.

What I'm seeing might be pecking order, but some of it could be Ross aggression. My wife was told by the company that gave the chicks out that Ross chickens were aggressive, and any small predator like a rat that tried something with them was just asking for trouble.

So now I'm wondering if I should get out of the Ross business completely, and butcher Mildred when I do Bob. However, I came up with another solution: why not build a chicken tractor and keep the two Rosses in it? Then I could move it around the yard, they'd be happy, the Reds would be happy, as would the incoming batch of chicks. I could even take the tractor over to the space where Henry's garden is going to be and let them do some weed and bug picking and fertilizing.

We have plenty of scrap wood around. I'm thinking it's a plan.

I've also been watching the chicks. It looks like the White Rocks are maturing the fastest. They're losing the yellow chick fuzz and have white feathers coming in. The Red Sex links are starting to rust, and the RIR's also have a thick undercoating of pinfeathers coming in. The Wyandottes all look a little ratty, but seem smaller and less developed than the others. Different breeds, different rates, no doubt.

When I stuck my hand in what I refer to as the "chick condo" to replace the food and water, the little ones all went nuts trying to get away from me. I'm wondering now if I should have been handling them a little every day so they're less shy. Well, soon enough I figure they'll figure out that I'm Brings Food Man and am the Emperor of Everything in their little world.

Monday I picked up one of those plastic bins with the folding lid at WalMart, sawed a chook-sized hole in it, and put it on the floor of the coop to replace the plastic bucket - hopefully to give Mildred something big enough to go into when she wanted to make an egg deposit. So far, nothing, but at least it's there. I may have to start keeping everyone cooped up again to see what happens.

I've been ill the last few days, and came home to rest instead of going to church yesterday evening. When I went to lock the chooks up, it was early - around 6 or 6:30 - and they were all out pecking in the last residue of snow, enjoying the sunshine. I hated to chase them in.

Went to the doctor yesterday for this whatever that I have. While I was at it, I got a tetanus shot. I haven't had one in probably 25 years or more. Since I've been spending a lot of time in and around an ancient barn, working around rusty nails and assorted goat and chicken by-product, I figured it was just a matter of time before I got a scratch or stepped on a nail and wished that I'd had one. So I'm good for ten years or so. An ounce of prevention and all of that.

Meantime, I'm thinking that this will be the weekend that Bob makes the transition from the coop to our freezer. I wonder what the weather is going to be like on Saturday...

I discovered another skin of a soft shelled egg yesterday. I still don't think it was Mildred, although it could be. Today she was acting like she was looking for a place to lay an egg, complete with the same clucking sound we heard when she laid the egg in the woodpile. In fact, she was haunting the woodpile again this morning while making those sounds, and the goat pen, and she stuck her head in the bucket nest box, but I don't think she likes it. I think it's still too small for her. So my next project is a trip to WalMart to get a good sized plastic storage box for conversion.

Yesterday I doubled the size of the area the chicks have to run around in. I brought a monitor box home from work, taped it up, cut a hole in for a perch and another for observation (covered by chicken wire). The existing computer box nests into it and I cut a hole in the old box so they could get into the new area. They ignored it until I put that end under the heat lamp. Now they have to walk away into the old end for food and water. They seem to like the new digs now, but they haven't yet gotten the hang of using the perch. They seem to use it more for games of king of the hill, body slamming one another off of it.

Some of the chicks have wing feathers coming in, especially the Rhodies. Looking at them this weekend, I'm speculating that we have two males and a female. At ten days, the male suspects have more red in their beak, and it looks like their combs are developing bigger and faster than the third. I'll have to research RIR's to find out if this is the case. I was talking to someone today who kept chickens, and he said that straight runs tend to give more males than females. He also said that what I described sounds like the case for the Rhodies.

Time will tell. Or maybe the Internet will tell first.

• My daughter, who is taking French, christened one of the Wyandotte chicks "Jean-Bob" (the two Ross chicks were originally named Bob and Bob until I tired of saying "Bob the hen"). The one she named has a more distinctive look, with a mostly-black head without the silver-white streaking. It also turns out that Jean-Bob is one of the outspoken chicks in the batch, and loves to boss the others around and stand on top of the feeder and screech at my wife.

• Last night I replaced the floor nest box - which has been frequently trampled by goats and knocked over by the Reds - with a large plastic buckets. How it goes over remains to be seen (folks in the Backyard Chickens Forum say their chooks love them - and they love the easy cleanup). I broke down and bought it at Tractor Supply since I hadn't had any luck finding free ones and one of the Reds might be starting to lay. However, this morning I scored a former pickle bucket with a lid at the Steak and Shake near my day job. Will probably use that one for Black Oiled Sunflower Seeds or my wife's birdseed.

Saturday my wife and I went into our local Tractor Supply Company to pick up some feed and softener salt - and what do I find in the center of the store while my wife is looking at clothes?

A sign reading, CHICK DAYS AT TRACTOR SUPPLY.

Under it, three horse troughs filled with chicks. One was mixed pullets, one was straight run Cornish Rocks, the third straight run Rhode Island Reds.

I thought this could, um, kill two birds with one stone. I could increase my flock size and perhaps get a rooster in the process without having to run all over northeast Ohio collecting chickens willy-nilly.

So we bought a dozen. From the pullets, five Silver Laced Wyandottes, two White Rocks and two Red Sex Links. And to get a rooster, I decided to play the genetic lottery and bought three Rhode Island Reds. That seemed like a good number to get at least one roo out of the deal. And if I get three, well, we'll have a couple of nice broilers, I suppose.

This means soon, perhaps as early as next weekend, Bob will simultaneously go to Chicken Paradise and the Stew Pot. I'll miss his crowing until the new Rooster grows up enough to take command of the barnyard (providing I got one), but it's the best thing. I don't want to risk him crushing the life out of the Reds while trying to procreate, and he's unhappy where he is, even though he's got enough space.

In barnyard news, there are no new eggs from Mildred, but I think one of the Reds is starting to lay. I found the remains of a soft shelled egg right at the door to the coop. It was broken (or perhaps squished is a better word) and the chooks were helping themselves to the yolk. I'll have to keep an eye on them now and encourage them to use the nestboxes. Must find some old golf balls.

Did some other minor work in the barn, but haven't gotten around to putting up a higher roost yet. Been too busy with other things. Perhaps that will go on the list for this next weekend too, along with filleting Bob.